When you edit your work, things change. Sometimes drastically and sometimes only slightly. It takes a lot to change what you’ve written and to go from creating to deleting, polishing and moving the words you love so much. It really is putting on two different hats in order to accomplish what you need to. My good friend Andrew just wrote a post about this here. So here’s a little peak into the transformation of my book. From very first to the current one these are my Prologues. What do you think? Do you like the newest one better than the oldest one? Are there any sentences I’ve taken out or changed that you liked better before the editing? Happy reading! 😀
Oh and btw? It’s T-minus 2 days until we Leap Into Chapter One!
Prologue #1
Prologue – Existence
Water enveloped me. Holding my form in its cool grasp. It wasn’t right. The water was off; wrong and harsh. There was no salt, which invariably left its mark. My strength and speed weren’t what they once were. My appetite had flagged, and my thought processes had slowed.
As the years passed, these changes overwhelmed me. Such horrifying and tainted water was a prison. Contrived chemicals attacked relentlessly. Attempts to wash away the murderous substances, did nothing except to slightly delay the effects.
There had been no opportunities for release from this severe unforgiving confinement. Time did not laugh as it slowly watched me waste away. Soon all energy would leave, and no one would be able to stop the outcome. This was no life, it was simply an existence.
Humans surrounded me. Shyness and uncertainty stilled my voice from seeking their help. What would they do? What could they do to help me? Escape must become a possibility soon. If not, death would come to claim me.
Fate would have me resign and accept the cards that had been dealt to me. Refused I to let this be the end. Death would be held at bay; there was no other option.
Prologue #2
Prologue – Existence
Water envelops me. Holding my form in its cool grasp. It isn’t right. The water feels off, wrong and harsh. There is no salt, which inevitably leaves its mark. My strength and speed are not what they once were. My appetite has flagged, and my thoughts have slowed.
As the years passed, these changes overwhelm me. Such horrifying and tainted water is a prison. Toxic chemicals attack relentlessly. Attempts to wash away the poison, do nothing.
There is no opportunity for release, no escape from this severe, unforgiving confinement. Time does not laugh as it watches me waste away. My energy will soon be spent; and there is no one to give relief. This is not life – it is an existence.
Humans are all around me. Shyness and uncertainty still my voice. What would they do? What could they do to help me? Escape is essential. If it does not happen soon, death will come as surely as the moon controls the tides.
Fate wants me to resign, accept the way the stones have been cast. But refuse I to let this be the end. Death must be held at bay; there is no other option.
Prologue #3
Prologue – Wyn
What have I done?
My family, my people, my world. Risked I them all.
But she was dying. No one else saw. Had I to save her. But the repercussions. The repercussions. She had the secret. What would she do with it?
Shyness and uncertainty still my voice. How to speak with her? Would she want to speak with me? Could she help me?
My appetite had flagged, my thoughts had slowed. My strength and speed were faltering. Hated I the dulled colour of my scales.
This horrifying and tainted water was a prison. The lack of salt inevitably leaves its mark. The toxic chemicals attack, relentless. There had been no opportunity for release; escape from this severe, unforgiving confinement is impossible. They had trapped me well.
My energy will soon be spent, could she provide escape? Or would she expose me?
If don’t I escape, death will come as surely as the moon shapes the tides. But if were I exposed, death might be preferable.
Wouldn’t I accept that this was the way the stones had been cast. My choice might have risked my whole world, all of Lasera. But refuse I to let this be the end. Maybe she will help, maybe she will betray me to the humans. Regardless, death must be held at bay. There is no other option.
Prologue #4 (The one in the Sneak Peak right now)
Prologue – Wyn
The screams are hard to hear underwater.
The blurred forms above the surface are moving all around her.
What have I done?
My family, my people, my world. Risked I them all.
But she’d been drowning. No one else saw. Had I to save her. But the repercussions. My hands clench my hair. She has the secret. Will she tell?
Uncertainty stills my voice. How to speak with her? Will she want to speak with me? Can she help me?
My appetite flags with every passing week and my thoughts slow. A hand goes to my shrinking stomach. The once great strength and speed are faltering. Hate I the dulled colour of my scales. This horrifying and tainted water is a prison. The lack of salt inevitably leaves its mark. The poisonous chemicals attack, relentless. A slow death is torturous. There is no opportunity for release; escape from this severe, unforgiving confinement is impossible. They have trapped me well. They are killing me.
The water swirls around me in the deepest corner of the pool. Her feet are pulled up through the water and she is gone.
My energy will soon be gone, can she provide escape? Or will she expose me?
If don’t I escape, death will come as surely as the moon shapes the tides. But if am I exposed, death might be preferable.
Flick I my tail back and forth. Will not I accept this is the way the stones have been cast. My choice may risk my whole world, all of Lasera. But refuse I to let this be the end. Maybe she will help, maybe she will betray me to the humans. Regardless, death must be held at bay. There is no other option.
p.s. the font sizes are being all weird sorry.
